Journal Entry

Sunday, 8 October 2023, 8:30am

My favourite journal, so exquisitely crafted. It holds a couple of years of my life within.

I have a lot of work to do. Job number one is to get my mindset right. I wake up this morning eager and excited and yet somewhat sorry, sad and feeling bad about my thoughts - which have been negative - and conduct that naturally followed.

I have been short and rude, but most of all impatient. So many times in my work and at home I have symbolically ‘put my foot down’ to strongly express that I will not put up with the scenario I find myself in. Yet who did and said all the things - and accepted all the conditions - that led me to those situations? Me. I did.

It’s hard to know where to start.

My brain is bubbling with ideas but they are in a state of mess; and I need order. I guess that’s my answer then. Put order to my thoughts, but also, forgive myself for my failings. They’re mine.

At least I recognise them as ways to improve.

So many times in the past I have reached the point of wanting to be a better person. I am softly there now and I am grateful for the wisdom that is calling me not to repeat conduct from my past.

Life is for learning. Life is for growing.