Forgiveness and Ego
Image taken from a friend’s Instagram story with credit applied to @hafeez_alchemist
Each night as I get into bed I refresh my podcast feed. Usually there’s something arts related and I fall asleep with my phone tucked under the pillow and an established photographer or author whispering sweet somethings in my ear.
Last night, it was inspirational rather than artistic content that popped up in my feed, and top of the list was Oprah’s Super Soul Conversation on Forgiveness.
“Hmmm…” I thought,“that’s appropriate”.
The timing was one hundred percent relevant. I turned up the volume and opened my mind to the concepts and emotional theories being applied.
I want to be able to forgive ‘stuff’—people really—who have left a negative dent on my psyche and heart. From experience this ability to live and let live only happens in time, and generally I’m good with that. I don’t hold a grudge for too long because sooner or later one of two things happen. Either I see the light and get over myself, or the gravity of the incident diminishes because I just don’t care about it anymore, and life magically moves on with no-thing and no-one being too perturbed.
But I would like to be more in control of the situation and not just leave it to time as the healer. I would like to fast-track the process of forgiveness and play a proactive part in being able to get up, brush the shit off my shoulder, and march on. I have nowhere near mastered that to date and Oprah’s amazing line up of Super Soul spiritual guests in her Forgiveness episode didn’t help.
I was still awake, so it was onto the next podcast in my feed…
Image taken from a friend’s Instagram story.
The topic? Ego!
Like the Law of Attraction had me totally in its sight, the next episode in my feed was Oprah’s Super Soul Conversation on Ego. Amazingly one hundred percent spot on once again.
Forgiveness and ego usually go hand in hand, yes? I started this year with my ego bruised and I have had trouble forgiving. So I began listening intently to what Oprah and Echkart Tolle were saying, but this thing called sleep caught up with me and instead of absorbing words of wisdom I fell asleep with little more than a memory of Eckhart’s monotone voice in my head. (I love Eckhart by the way.)
Then this morning I woke up to this in a lovely friend’s Insta story.
Image taken from a friend’s Instagram account.
And that’s when I knew all this stuff was speaking to me. Because I wasn’t at peace. Not at all.
I don’t know how to forgive in a hurry. I only know how to let time pass and that means painful thoughts swirl my mind in the meantime. Time does heal my wounds. And that’s great! Others don’t have this to look forward to and are condemned to a life of pain and misery, all of life’s battles building up inside. But I am so very open to learning how to forgive more quickly and I really want to understand the concept that forgiving doesn’t mean that what has taken place is okay. That’s the bit my mind finds the most difficult to grapple. If you have any thoughts or tips on this, please do share.
As for the ego, oh I know mine pretty well. And I think I know yours. I see ego everywhere and reading the above meme reminded me that my ego was hard at work bringing instability to my life.
My word for this year is ‘CREATE’. I initially interpreted that as the importance for me to write, photograph, and exercise my thoughts and inspiration. But my emotions, the quality of the days that pass me by, the conversations (or those I avoid), and the relationships I participate in are also of my creation. I want to create healthy things.
I am house and cat sitting at the moment. The home and garden are filled with love hearts, trinkets, purposeful touches of warmth, and all of it is just beautiful. This sign lies on the ground just outside on the verandah.
The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to Love (yourself) and be loved in return.
And that my friend, has nothing to do with ego. It’s the Law of Attraction at its finest.